The Worst Mistake I Ever Made
by Liek
Summary: Dumbledore it on his way to visit the worst mistake he ever made: Sirius Black. Sets in Harry's third year. Second chapter: Remus realizes
1. Chapter 1

_The Worst Mistake I Ever Made

* * *

_

These stairs have never been so hard to walk before, this tower has never been so black.  
And I, I am an old sentimental fool on my way to visit the worst mistake in my life.  
Worse that Tom Riddle, who I at least never really trusted, who I at least never liked, who I kept my eye on for all the years he was my student.

I should have kept my eye on this one as well. I should have known.

But Sirius has ever been a star so bright it seemed foolish to think him Black, a star so bright even I was blinded.

I walk these stairs and remember how he walked them, a small boy with dark hair, just turned eleven years old. I remember how he walked them and smiled.  
He was always smiling, the young Sirius Black. Every minute spent in Hogwarts he smiled, from the very moment the hat placed him in Griffindor.

The only mistake it ever made.

I wonder if he was smiling when Voldemort reached out for him. I wondered if the Dark lord allowed him that big, naughty grin.  
I heard he laughed when he killed Peter Pattigrew, and I knew it had to be true. It was the single detail that proved it all. Sirius Black killed Peter Pattigrew.

Sirius Black killed James Potter.

Even after all these years, the words do not seem to fit together. The truth has not fully sunken in.

Sirius Black killed James Potter. It still seems as unlikely as myself killing the Pope. I read every opinions magazine, every wizarding newspaper for an explaination. Anything that could have help me understand, but the one I found the most believable was the one in the Quibbler, where it was stated that Sirius Black had not been involved after all.

Even after all this evidence against it, his deceit lingers.

Is that why I never asked Remus Lupin about his opinion about Black? For I never did, not even after the interview where I hired him as my defence against the dark arts teacher, I never asked him about the criminal he once befriended.

Was I so afraid to hear Remus felt the same?

Now he is here. Sirius Black, deceiver of many. He is in this tower, just a few steps away.

And I Albus Dumbledore have to admit I am afraid.

At the other side of this door is a man with the power to deceive me, to hurt me, to bring me down.

I am frightened for in my head I know he killed James, Lily and Peter.  
Yet in my heart I know he did not.

* * *

He leans against the window, his eyes staring in the dark, ignoring the enchanted chains placed around his chest that try to drag him back to his chain. 

His beauty has faded, his eyes no longer shine.  
Had he not been an enemy I would have cried for him.  
He is thin, so incredibly thin…

Was he maybe just thin enough to slide through the bars? Was that the great mystery of his escape?

"Sirius" I speak softly.

I have seen him stand at this window before, I have caught him hexing people from above. He stood there at the exact same place, and James… James…

"Is Harry alright?" his hoarse voice interrupts my bittersweet memories and brings me back to the present.

Harry…  
Harry lies hurt in the Hospital wing, hurt but alive. Is he alright? A strange question from one that intended to kill him.

"He will live."

Is that relief I see in the murderer's eyes? Where is the cold stare that marks true Death Eaters so well? Where are the heartless glances?

"And Remus? Is Remus…?"

How can there still be such debt in his eyes? How can it be that Voldemort left his servant with so much love? So much fear? Has Black fooled the Dark Lord as well?

How did he survive Azkaban?

"We have not found Remus yet, Sirius. But we are looking."  
"Who? Who are looking? Ministry officials?"  
"Hagrid."  
"Oh, Hagrid." Was it my imagination or did I just see a ghost of his old smile play around his lips? Was it my imagination or did I again hear the relief?

Who is this person who stands in front of me? Is it Sirius Black, or is he the person my heart wants him to be? Is this a trick my head plays, so I did not have to be wrong after all?  
Do I really fear being an old fool that much?

"And the other two? A boy.. a Weasley I think, and the girl? Harry's friends?"

"Sirius…"

What do I have to tell him? There are Dementors making their way to this tower and soon all will be over. There will not be a deceiver left to deceive my heart, no Death Eater I will believe to be innocent.

James and Lily Potter will be avenged, Harry will be saved from one of the people threading him.

"Sirius…"

It is my last change to ask him. My last change to find out what coused the elf-year-old Sirius Black that skipped through the Hogwarts Halls to turn into the Sirius Black that stands here chained today.

And yet I hesitate.

He could deceive me. He could deceive me like I have been deceived before. He could tell me a story and make me believe it, for he holds a weapon more powerful than I had thought any Death eater capable of wielding: my love for him.

"Sirius…"

He looks at me, a bright star, a once good friend. After tonight he will never again have a change to speak, to explain himself. After tonight those eyes will never shine again.

"Why, Sirius, why?" I ask,staring at the ground. It is silent for a long time, and I when I finally look up my heart fears my head was right. I fear to see the coldness of a Death Eater in the eyes of an old friend.

Instead I see big black dog.

"Sirius?" I ask, trying to understand what it means, what he is trying to say.

There he is again, the same Sirius, the same eyes.

"It all started with Remus becoming a werewolf..." he speaks, and I smile as he tells his story, as the pieces of the puzzle fit together and the mystery unfolds.

As I hear sirius talking I hear a ghost of his laugther, I see a small light in his eyes. Just moments ago it was what I feared most, to look upon this man as a friend again.  
Ifeared my heart was wrong where my head was right.

And as I leave now, an old fool on a mission to clean an thirteen year old messI knowSirius Blackis stillthe worst mistake I ever made.

It is only the context that changed.

* * *

_  
The End_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Remus**_

He stared at the parchment as twelve years of his life turned into a lie.  
Twelve years.  
Twelve years of pain.  
Twelve years of a deafening, all consuming, everlasting loneliness.  
But he was not the last one standing, not anymore.

He stared at map again, his hands trembling.  
It was unable to lie, and even if it were, it would never lie to him.

The name had not changed.  
It was still there.

Peter Pettigrew.  
Wormtail.

His hands touched the name lightly, almost caressing it.

Peter….

Some of the loneliness of his heart faded just by looking at the name, and for a brief second he dared to believe in friendship again.

Then a shadow moved over the parchment, swiftly, too swiftly to be human… a dark dot with the name of Sirius Black.

_No!_

The blood of the werewolf turned into ice.

_You can't do this to me!_

The spot attacked Peter, Ron and dragged the both of them into the Whomping Willow.  
There was nothing Remus could do.  
He was powerless.

_Not again! Please... not again!_

He watched how Peter was drawn into the hidden tunnel by their treacherous, murdering friend and he was up before he knew it, almost falling down the stairs for extra speed, rushing to the tunnel faster than he ever had.

But…  
A realization hit him so hard it almost stopped him dead in his tracks.  
Sirius could not do it again.  
If Peter was still alive to be killed… that meant Sirius had not killed him.

And… if Sirius had not killed Peter…

Then….  
Then….

He started running again, faster even…

_Sirius? _


End file.
